Today's category: Pilots
Two blondes were flying to Miami from Cleveland. Fifteen minutes into the flight, the captain announced "One of the engines has failed and the flight will be an hour longer. But don't worry we have three engines left".
Thirty minutes later, the captain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be two hours longer. But don't worry we have two engines left".
An hour later the capain announced "One more engine has failed and the flight will be three hours longer. But don't worry we have one engine left".
One blonde looked at the other the other blonde and said "If we lose one more engine, we'll be up here all day"View hundreds more jokes online.
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Meet Mark: The Man The World Is €300 Trillion In Debt To
AS IT stands at the time of writing the world economic debt is currently at 300 trillion with no end to the spiralling figure in sight, but just who does the planet owe all its money to? WWN travels to the Isle Of Man to find out.
Financier and Cork man, Mark Power, is not a name many people would be familiar with. In fact, the 38-year-old does not even own a social media account nor does he care to.
“C’mere boy, I keep myself to myself – I find life easier that way considering my current position,” he explains. “Ya know what I mean, kid?”
Mark first began lending cigarettes in school during the early 90s before branching out into cold hard cash.
“I would charge kids 10 pence a fag,” he said, “after a while I began lending fivers here and there with 33% interest. If they didn’t pay up I would threaten them with a mocked up solicitors letter stating that I would repossess their lungs – I was an awful bollocks”.
Seeing the value in lending, Mark extracted a IR£1mn loan from his local credit union.
“The manager at the time, who accidentally hung himself since, owed me a substantial amount of money for pictures I had taken of him having sexual intercourse with one of the girls at the desk, so I was lucky in a way”.
It didn’t take long for Mark to become a multimillionaire, then a billionaire and eventually becoming the world’s most valued financier.
“I don’t really like to gloat; it’s only money at the end of the day,” Mark attempted to downplay his role. “Yeah, I’ve financed some of the biggest military exercises on the planet, including the orchestration of the 911 attacks, the Afghan and Iraq invasions, the war in Syria and various coups in Libya, Venezuela and more – loans build up after a few years and I was just in the right place at the right time – but look it sure, it’s just a job at the end of the day. I still sit down at night and watch shit TV like anyone else”.
Currently Mark is worth over 500 trillion euros with the world economy owing him a large majority of that figure.
“Sure, ya have to be doing something boy!” he concluded in his thick Cork accent.
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