Meet Mark: The Man The World Is €300 Trillion In Debt To
AS IT stands at the time of writing the world economic debt is currently at 300 trillion with no end to the spiralling figure in sight, but just who does the planet owe all its money to? WWN travels to the Isle Of Man to find out.
Financier and Cork man, Mark Power, is not a name many people would be familiar with. In fact, the 38-year-old does not even own a social media account nor does he care to.
“C’mere boy, I keep myself to myself – I find life easier that way considering my current position,” he explains. “Ya know what I mean, kid?”
Mark first began lending cigarettes in school during the early 90s before branching out into cold hard cash.
“I would charge kids 10 pence a fag,” he said, “after a while I began lending fivers here and there with 33% interest. If they didn’t pay up I would threaten them with a mocked up solicitors letter stating that I would repossess their lungs – I was an awful bollocks”.
Seeing the value in lending, Mark extracted a IR£1mn loan from his local credit union.
“The manager at the time, who accidentally hung himself since, owed me a substantial amount of money for pictures I had taken of him having sexual intercourse with one of the girls at the desk, so I was lucky in a way”.
It didn’t take long for Mark to become a multimillionaire, then a billionaire and eventually becoming the world’s most valued financier.
“I don’t really like to gloat; it’s only money at the end of the day,” Mark attempted to downplay his role. “Yeah, I’ve financed some of the biggest military exercises on the planet, including the orchestration of the 911 attacks, the Afghan and Iraq invasions, the war in Syria and various coups in Libya, Venezuela and more – loans build up after a few years and I was just in the right place at the right time – but look it sure, it’s just a job at the end of the day. I still sit down at night and watch shit TV like anyone else”.
Currently Mark is worth over 500 trillion euros with the world economy owing him a large majority of that figure.
“Sure, ya have to be doing something boy!” he concluded in his thick Cork accent.
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When This Hospital Patient Said He Wanted To Get Married, The Staff Made It Happen
January 21, 2019
It wasn't the fanciest of weddings, but it was perfect in every way.
The staff at Adventist Health in Willits, California, went above and beyond to help a patient marry the love of his life.
Credit: Adventist Health
This is what Adventist Health wrote:
"When we say we go the extra mile for our patients, we meant it.
That's why when one of our patients in the ICU said he wanted to marry the love of his life, our staff sprang into action and made it happen!
Steve and Shilynne had been together for 23 years and always wanted to get married.
But life happened and got in the way so they never got around to it.
A few days before the wedding, Steve received devastating news about his condition.
Fearing that he would run out of time to make this life-long wish come true, that morning, Steve told one of our staff that he wanted to get married, who then told our chaplain, Dennis Long who happened to be an ordained minister.
Dennis then worked with our staff, who was a notary public to get the marriage license and even picked it up in Ukiah.
Thanks to everyone's efforts, what would normally take 5 weeks, happened in a matter of hours (thank you County employees!)
We got a bridal bouquet, wedding rings from a local store and a wedding cake and the staff planned a wedding in 3 hours.
In front of friends and family and hospital staff, and amidst overflowing joy and tears, Steve and Shilynne professed their undying love and sealed it with a kiss.
Thank you, Steve and Shilynne, for allowing us to be part of this perfect moment.
We are forever inspired by your story, courage and love.
Credit: Adventist Health
Champion Wrestler Surrenders Match He Could Have Won
January 21, 2019
As a state champion, Marek Bush has little competition.
But when he faced a fierce component who got injured, he decided winning wasn't important.
Marek Bush and his father / CBS News
"I practiced hard that entire week and I wanted to beat him," Bush said.
It was a great match. Until, with under a minute left, his opponent injured his elbow.
There was almost no way Bush couldn't win, now.
So he told his coach, "I got this," and went back in to do what he says he had to do.
Watch the video below.
Today's category: Christmas
An atheist complained to a Christian friend, "You Christians have your special holidays, such as Christmas and Easter. Jews celebrate their national holidays, such as Passover and Yom Kippur. But we atheists have no recognized national holidays. It's unfair discrimination."
His friend replied, "Why don't you celebrate April first?"View hundreds more jokes online.
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