The Truth Behind The Johnson Argument
THE PAST weekend Tory leadership favourite Boris Johnson has been systematically targeted by the gutter press who will stop at nothing in their campaign to just sit back and let him fuck it up all by himself.
Before pulling out from the Sky News debate, and long after failing to pull out of any woman able to produce a child, Boris Johnson was hitting the headlines after police were called to a ‘domestic incident’ at the home of his partner, Carrie Symonds.
WWN has navigated through the mist cast by the puerile left-wing tabloid press to get to the innocent truth of just exactly what happened:
“You have no care for money or anything” – these were just some of the words uttered by Johnson’s partner Symonds, but the full context is what’s truly important. Symonds was shouting at Johnson because as Prime Minister he said he would wipe out the national debt, reinvest in the NHS to the tune of €40 billion, re-nationalise rail companies and erase poverty. But no, you don’t see the biased press reporting that, do you?
“Get off my fucking laptop” – Johnson is heard to shout, however, a man’s internet search history is the most private and sacred of things and Symonds, in another world with just laws, would be sentenced to life in prison for even attempting to get near a man’s laptop.
Clear banging and crashing sounds were heard coming from the apartment but we now know Johnson was in the middle of receiving cymbols and drumming lesson in the same room he stores piles of fine china.
“You just don’t care for anything because you’re spoilt” – Symonds is also heard to say on the recording, but Context. Is. Everything. She also went on to say “does your asshole get jealous of all the shit that comes out of your mouth? You couldn’t manage a fucking lighthouse, Boris. I know you were dropped on your head as a child but could you ring your parents, I want an exact number. You’re about as much use as a chocolate teapot. You couldn’t be trusted to find sand in a desert.
“Making love to you is like watching Coronation Street, you don’t want to do it but when there’s fuck all else on it helps to pass the time. Why can’t you act like the dog you are and find a shed to go slink under and die. In case this isn’t sinking into your wafer thing skull, and I think you’re an irredeemable twat and you have the intellectual capacity of a crab.”
The Guardian chose to just report on a section of the full quote to make it look a certain way. Shame on them. The Remain nutjobs at the Marxist paper also left out the fact that we’re probably all living in a simulation so technically none of this truly took place.
The BBC also reported on the incident which is laughable because Jimmy Saville worked there once. Need we say more.
To suggest domestic violence occurs in Tory voters homes is ludicrous, it only happens among working class savages.
Clear evidence the public have no interest in this nonsense and just want Boris to get on with the business of securing the hardest, most economically devastating Brexit possible came in the form of one tweet from a Russian bot with 4 followers that said “So what if Boris had a domestic. Still the man for the job”. Proof we need to move on.
Elsewhere, fellow Tory leader candidate Jeremy Hunt was caught out by his neighbours who obtained a disturbing recording of a curiously monotone, unaggressive and excruciatingly boring Hunt say “I love you dearest” at an acceptable volume level.
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WWN’s Weekend Sport Recap
ANOTHER WEEKEND, another action-packed 48 hours filled with sporting delight. WWN was there for every kick of a ball, stride of a leg, puff of cheeks, vomit on side of pitch because you decided to go out the night before and really don’t have the lungs for Sunday league anymore.
Catch up with WWN Sports, we’ve got all your sport action right here:
After extensive couple counselling sessions Roy Keane and Martin O’Neill announced their intention to consciously uncouple with Keane leaving Nottingham Forest.
Stating his desire to return to management, Keane would be the ideal man to whip some people into shape; the staff in Starbucks who can’t spell names correctly, or turning to a life as a chef where losing your temper and screaming and shouting at people is viewed as an asset.
The women’s world cup has roared into the knockout phase but descended into farce and controversy during England’s 3-0 victory over Cameroon. Cameroon’s players appeared to stage an on-field strike, refusing to play on after the awarding of England’s second goal via VAR.
Some people have suggested this was a pre-planned strike after the players began carrying placards “no way, we won’t play”, “no play without VAR representation” and “Phil Neville, really? Was no one else available?”
Transfer watch: Neymar is set to rejoin Barcelona in a deal reportedly worth in excess of €150 million or in plain terms: one-third of a Wes Hoolahan.
In GAA, Dublin emerged unlikely Leinster football champions this year. The GAA, seeking to save time, handed over the trophy to Dublin before their match against Meath, which saw the Dubs run out winners by a margin so large the actual number hasn’t been invented yet.
Elsewhere provincial championships threw up yet more upsets as Donegal and Kerry triumphed against the odds. Fans have been put on high alert for a ‘Joe Brolly being controversial for the sake of it’ newspaper column.
The cricket World Cup is in full flow, but, c’mon, nobody watches that.
Openly homophobic Australian rugby player Israel Falou made headlines again after the launch of a GoFundMe campaign aimed at raising funds for his legal defence after having his contract terminated for being openly homophobic.
Falou’s pleading for funds appeared alongside campaigns from desperate parents seeking money for lifesaving operations for their sick children, leading people to observe that perhaps the ‘devout Christian’ Falou is kind of a dick.
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“I’ll War Next Term, Promise”
DEFENDING his cautious approach to the downing of a military surveillance drone over Iranian waters last week, US President Donald Trump reassured National Security Adviser John Bolton that he will definitely war next term and that he’s just “isn’t feeling Iran at the moment”.
Calling off a military airstrike on Thursday against Iran at the last minute, the President said he had a busy schedule of golf and late night twitter rants lined up and couldn’t fully commit to a war right now, but to “bare with him”.
“This was exciting. It really was. Drone shot down. An international incident. We should have warred. I get it” Mr. Trump told the assembled media at the White House, flanked by unimpressed Mark Twain descendant, John Bolton.
“Venezuela was boring; regime changes are old,” the president defended his sudden disinterest with the South American country last month, “I’m looking for a good war. The best. Something unique. Trust me, next term we’ll war hugely. I don’t know with who yet. Maybe China, who knows. Wait till you see this war… oh boy”.
Slamming the lack of response over the downed drone, former US President Barack Obama called Donald Trump weak and unable to make the tough decisions needed for leadership.
“I would have blitzed Iran for killing droney,” said a teary eyed Obama, now caressing an image of the $118 million RQ-4A Global Hawk BAMS-D, “It was just spying for targets to strike, nothing else. Trump is a coward for not ordering young men and women to kill innocent people”.
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Gamer Raises Nearly $1 Million For St. Jude Children's Research Hospital In Just 4.5 Hours
June 24, 2019
Streamer Ben "DrLupo" Lupo raised $920,343.98 for St Jude Children's Research Hospital in just 4.5 hours on Sunday.
DrLupo has raised millions of dollars for charity in the past, but yesterday's feat was a new record for the popular gamer.
"Thank you so much, to every single person that's donated. To every single person that's supported St. Jude. To every single person that's gonna be at Guardian Con. To every single person that freakin' loves gaming. And most importantly, from top to bottom, St. Jude,” DrLupo said at the end of the stream.
Today, gaming raised $920,343.98 in 4 hours and 30 minutes. ❤️💜
— DrLupo (@DrLupo) June 23, 2019
The stream was part of a collaboration between DrLupo and GuardianCon – an annual, two-day event for gamers.
GuardianCon's 2019 convention has raised a total of $3.7 million for St Jude.
$3.7M raised for the kids of @StJude through @GuardianCon. YOU DID THAT. You all have joined our mission that “no child should die in the dawn of life.” Thank you, thank you! ❤ pic.twitter.com/2KFfiW7B6X
— St. Jude PLAY LIVE (@StJudePLAYLIVE) June 23, 2019
St. Jude has treated children from all around the world and families never receive a bill for treatment, travel, housing or food.